Jamie's Journal

Jamie's Journal

Jamie

[ website | The Newlywed Intercoastal ]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]

[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

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here comes the death page [23 Jun 2004|12:45pm]

so for those of you who are wondering where the hell i have been, and then for myself to document how shit goes down.
lets see where i can start...
ok, our landlord back in mira mesa decided she couldnt afford taxes on the house anymore, so we had to be out in 30 days. wooo. along with all the huge bills she gave us, it was kinda releiving because we wanted out anyhow. soooo we found this place in Northpark and we were all set... right? no. two days before we were supposed to move in, he decided JJ's credit didnt look good and jay had student loans that havent been paid off. is that not common for a 23 year old? exactly. anyhow, so i have a show with my band the day we found out, and we had to look at a house before the show. i went nuts on this idea because we had two hours before the show started. literally. jj and i like pretty much came inches from fist fighting and i kicked down a door in the house. ha. no good. we did however get places to stay thanks to Breanna, Danae and Justin's.
so for the first couple days of my homelessness i stayed at Brea's, just kinda chilled out and went to the beach and places. Then i went to Danae's which i thought would be for only two or three more days before we moved in to somewhere new. well it took a lot more convincing to let that guy from northpark let us move in.so we had to get our parents to co sign the rent thing and all this bullshit that took us a week and a half to complete because the ass hole likes to take off the weekends, and couldnt help us out even though he knew we were homeless. great.
however, one of the nights i was staying at danae's place i saw drew our new landlord (drew isnt the guy i was talking about before, the other guy runs like ten places) but anyhow, drew tells me to check out this other place in the complex, so im all i dont know we like the other place but we'll check it out. so i do, and its fucking huge. so we get that place instead, and its for $975 a month. that's syracuse pricing in california, fucking awesome.
The house is cool, but it's the bad luck house. our water heater is in someone else's apartment, so in turn we had no hot water for three days. then we were supposed to get the internet however there was a five step way of doing that. first, its not having a modem that was compatible with our service, even though the guy at the place said it would be. then getting a Linksys which was five dollars more, and if i saw it i would have gotten that. THEN having the internet actually work because the guy who installed it, didnt. so got that done, then JJ bought a wireless router that somehow wouldnt let us read our email. god damn.
theres probably a ton of shit im missing like getting drunk a lot and having fun and shit, but yeah.
oh, i have a show saturday at the che with Forensics, textbook traitors, off minor and terra incognita. its gonnnna be good

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sigh [08 May 2004|06:50pm]

i'm glad mom has someone. i used to get so depressed when she'd call me or email me. i just felt so terrible that she didnt really have anyone to talk to. she has friends and what not, but it must be really lonely to come home from work and have no one to talk to :/ she sent me an email, and i got depressed, but i remembered that she has Ron to talk to and stuff. kinda weird, but im glad he's there for her. i hope i'm never in the position where my kids go off and i'm by myself. i dont want to grow up, ick.

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[11 Apr 2004|10:23pm]

[ mood | flirty ]

[ music | jaga jazzist ]

good weekend? you may say so.

friday went and hung out and was doing stuff that i cant even remember.. then i went to mike's for mac and stuff and we rocked out with our synths and stuff. good times. then saturday mike and i hung out and we played some new tunes for the band, and the songs are going really well... then after we went to pokez for some fine eating and then after that mike jay and I watched this funny ass samurai movie; i gotta rent some of those, that stuff is great. then after that went to a party where ryan's band was playing and saw a couple bands and what not, and to my surprise, his band was really good. (not saying i didnt think they would be, but they were REALLY good, kind of a lo fi spacey indie rock style) then after that we decided since it was my birthday when we got home (around 1) that we should drink it up, so jj bought me beer for my birthday haha. miller high life bitches. champange of beers. so that was good times as well. thennnn sunday hung out with my roomies and had a lot of fun doing stuff and going to pokez. but my weekend was def ended in a shitty way. but oh well, not everyone can understand the importance of one day a year! i need to have more weekends off, shit is critical.

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rock out with your cock out [24 Mar 2004|11:15pm]

this is something i made. i dont even know. take a listen. it may be updated with new songs, who knows.

http://www.purevolume.com/overeminusone

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duh [23 Mar 2004|10:12pm]

Franz Ferdinand
Indie rock! You're my most favourite type of
music... Your music channels lots of emotion.
On the top it seems simple, but underneath
there's always a deep meaning... As your name
you're independent from most of music! Stay
that way! Good on you! There's so much
variation in your style...from deep and
thoughtful like The Stills, to happy go lucky
like Belle & Sebastian, to dancy and catchy
Franz Ferdinand, and back to boogie down Hot
Hot Heat and The Rapture...

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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ups, downs, and all arounds [22 Mar 2004|09:24pm]

[ music | Appleseed Cast-anithero ]

Here's the thing. love is unconditional. but one plus zero doesnt equal two. one is one. also, if you take one plus one one, you can still get one, because two can be combined to get one. with that said... I've always felt like i needed more, where is this love i've been waiting for?
I feel like i've said hello and goodbye more than i have said, it's great to see you again. It's all a giant blur... I used to fall in love, kept it alive, was so passionate about it. but because i always gave my all, when the love ended i was left with nothing but a single image of the past year. one person, and how every time i've never felt like that before. love has to be deeper than just an attraction, feremones and similarities to one another... you ever experience or have had someone told you a story about an animal or something that someone has noticed had an importance to them? and they weren't quite sure why? My room mate Jay was telling me a story about this dog that used to follow his friend Mike home a bunch of times whenever he'd go to some girl's house, and it would be really friendly to him and and stuff.. and i went out on a limb and was like, "do you think that maybe there was some kind of soul connection that the two had? Be it a past life, some kind of energy that has passed down genertion to generation through souls. almost like there were all a bunch of souls that started off on the earth, or where ever they originated and they took the tangible bodies of everything around us that we see today and that's why certain people have connections they cant explain. It could go even farther into detail like why certain people can be deemed evil or good at heart, but if i kept going on i might sound like a stoner."

To build on that, souls can meet, but they have trouble building a relationship, because another soul may be confused about their past, and maybe the human mind, clouds the soul's memory and vision, kind of a like butterfly effect...phasing in and out... almost as if the human mind is trying to hold back emotions. I guess the only example i can think of would be Soul: acting on emotions and Human brain: holding back, or not getting involved because like scientists say, one thing that separates human thinking aposed to animal is that we think in cause and effect and we also have very good memory.
we learn, instead of being wise.

now that i've gone off on a tangent, back to the basics. whatever happened to falling in love and fighting for it? what ever happened to loyalty, and treating someone like they were royalty? I remember making mistakes, and everytime i did, it wasnt quite a mistake... because it's a learning process, and it would just make me realize how strong my feelings for someone really could be.

I dont even know anymore. Im a hopeless romantic. this last year has been wicked confusing. I want to be with a girl, she doesnt even like me back. so i figure eh i dont want a relationship anyway. then i wnat to be in one again, so i search, which is pointless. so i stop searching and i meet a girl. bam, she's amazing. i fall for her, but i get really scared so i back off because i dont want to get involved and then have my heart broken if i become more involved. mistake 1. then i realize its what i want, and i'm not afraid of a relationship. but then the tables are turned, she doesnt want to start it up again because i messed up. some things need to be forgiven. because with out that forgiveness, i felt she moved on, and was starting brand new. bleh. hopeless. i dont even know what i want anymore because when it comes to girls, i can never make my mind up. i dont really want to start a relationship, but i do wish i could just be in one that doesnt have to be too serious, but serious enough that i feel loved and that someone could look at me and think the world of me and i would think the exact same thing about them. and who knows where that would go, you wouldnt even have to think about it, because it would just happen.
i dont make any sense. emo fuck.

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an update for the world, rejoice! rejoice! [11 Mar 2004|01:54pm]

[ mood | awake ]

[ music | bright eyes ]

so what has been going on with my life these days you ask dear journal? well, its all been too much, its all been too fast, i didnt have enough time to stop and think. I didnt have enough thoughts to collectively write down, it was all a big blur, like a drunken night where no matter how hard you close your eyes, the world still spins.
As probably a bunch of people know, i've been down and out about my life lately, and at some points i was too low to even understand which way was the way out of the depression i was in. And behold! during this time i met a girl that was quite like me, too many things in common, too many things that could go wrong, and they did. its too bad we couldnt keep our shit together and just fight what was wrong, because i really enjoyed the late night talks and the way she made me feel when we kissed on the beach under the moon's halo.
"and now i'm confused, is this death really you? do these dreams have any meaning? no no i think its more like a ghost thats been following us both, sometihing vague, that we're not seeing."

Good news... band is going really well, we should be playing some shows soon... Pete came to visit for about a week and is leaving tomorrow. His friend Josh came over as well, so we're all just KICKIN it. was also talking to jeana who said stuff about visiting and maybe even moving out to california, man that would be awesome. all these people from new york, i miss them all, i've been talking to a lot of people from there lately, and even surprise surprise i got an IM from debbie who was all call me i miss you. havent talked to her in a while, so i'm gonna be doing that soon.then last night at the show a bunch of people came up to me and said hey. i guess i do have friends out here. things seem to be piecing together in this californian dilemma of mine.i feel like im getting happy again, and so now i dont have to fight off all these demons and ghosts i've been hiding under my skin lately. i was a wreck, i couldnt even make up my own decisions, and i looked to others to make them for me. lame. i fucked up a lot of things by doing that. so this is me, im together again.and i since i havent been doing a whole lot of public journals, this one may start a streak of that, im sick of hiding things from people and even some things from friends. so here it is. blah!

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[02 Mar 2004|01:48am]

the secret is out, i really like a girl. my life is confusing. but i thought a lot and liked her in my life, and we talked tonight and she said she really missed me, and i told her the same. however, now she doesnt want to talk to me anymore, so i guess the whole idea is just scrapped. weird how i was actually thinking about trying it again, but now its completely not an option. when does this life unfold the right way?

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